sometimes, it really is the little things that make you feel like you have accomplished something. yesterday, i FINALLY undecorated my house and took down the christmas tree. while taking everything down, i was able to clean and dust everything, too. my next new mission is to locate the valentine's decorations that i know i have, but as usual, can not locate ( because of a huge shortage of storage space, my bins of holiday decorations tend to get farmed out to famil members with storage, therefore making it nearly impossible to find them when i need them). but in the meantime, i have a pretty clean, fairly clutter-free house. which is nice. however, that is not why i feel a sense of accomplishment today. that feeling is due to the fact that everyone left in the house at this point (my husband is at work and my oldest, school), is bathed and dressed! before noon! it's amazing that this is something that makes me feel like i've done something for the day. i feel like because this is done, it's okay if i hang out on facebook until it is time to feed everyone.
how did this happen? i clearly remember a point in my life when getting a shower or bathing a child was something that was just done. not a hurdle to overcome. it's crazy. what's even crazier is that i feel like i should do something with the kids today so we don't waste a clean day. like, someone should see us because we've had baths and showers. that is a warped viewpoint! we should always be clean! but, i don't really think i am the only person who thinks like this. i know that bathing 4 kids is a lot of work and if i know we are not leaving the house (it is freezing freezing cold outside and snowing), why bother with baths and clean clothes? my kids don't care, why should i feel like i am doing something wrong when i let them stay in pajamas all day? and on the flip-side, if i do feel pressure from myself to bathe and dress them everyday, why, on days when i bathe all four of them, do i feel as if someone should pat me on the back and tell me i'm doing a great job? shouldn't i really feel like i've done what i'm supposed to do?
i'm really afraid that being a stay-at-home mother is turning me into a crazy person (and i really don't think i needed that much help to begin with). why do i care what other people think about whether my kids stay in their "jammins" all day? why do i have full two-sided arguments with myself about whether i am doing the right thing or not. seriously, i just laid out all the arguments for both sides. i'm pretty sure that defines a crazy person. and to be perfectly honest, i don't care all that much that i am a crazy person. i'm not a harmful crazy person, so what's the big deal, right?
anyway, i'm feeling like today is a pretty good day, because everyone is clean and dressed. the girls even have their hair done! i may go now and make some beds or something...or not, i think i hear facebook calling my name. chat with you soon.