i thought i'd share a sample of some recent conversations that i've been privy to lately. they may give you a glimpse of why i am the way i am...
breakfast table this morning:
jack, thomas and dennis all whispering with huge smiles on their faces as mommy sits at the table.
jack: my happiness is in my mumblemumblemumble
me: what did you just say?! (at this point, i totally heard him say "my happiness is in my penis", but am waiting to see if he'll own up to it)
me: you said something
jack: if i telly you i'll get sent upstairs because it's bad
me: then why would you say it if you already know it's bad?
jack: because it is still funny
at this point the conversation ends because who can argue with that? having a five year old tell you that his happiness is in his penis actually is very funny, while being a bad thing for him to say. also, as an aside...srsly, jack?!?! you don't even really know yet what that thing can do! what is he going to be like then?!?!?!
same breakfast table, slightly later in the meal:
katie: daddy, yous eyes is yellow
tommy: no they're not kate, they're blue
katie: no daddy. they's yellow
tommy: i hope not. then i'd be jaundiced
katie: YOU NOT A JAUNDICE BROTHER! we watch the jaundice brothers on tv. daddy, you silly
two hours into a car trip to the shore that should be over but is taking about two and a half hours, instead:
me: come on guys, settle down. we'll be at grandmom's in like five minutes
jack (slightly under his breath): five minutes later...are we there yet?
in bed one morning with jack as he is just waking up:
me: come on, jack, let me get this pull up off and put your underwear on
jack (looking down at his morning wood): mommy! look at my bird! it looks just like the eiffel tower!
admittedly, this one and the next one took place a couple of months ago, but they still rank as some of the funniest conversations i have ever had.
jack and dennis in the bathtub:
dennis: i have to pee
at this point, i lay a towel down on the floor and help dennis out of the tub. he goes to the toilet and pees like austin powers after he is cryogenically unfrozen.
jack: he is austin powers!
me: i know, right?
jack: do you know why?
me: umm...no. why?
jack: he can pee like that because his bird is powerful. he told me.
now that i have put these down in writing, i realize how many of them revolve around my boy's anatomy. i would be worried about that, but let's face it...i have three boys. it's not ever going to get any better. my only fear is for when it gets worse. ewww.